


Home is Where the Heart is

by awkward_radar_tech



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse from father, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Hux is a good boyfriend, Past physical abuse, Verbal Abuse, reader regrets returning home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 07:37:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16471469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkward_radar_tech/pseuds/awkward_radar_tech
Summary: What was meant to be a healing time at home turned into quite the opposite. Going from medical leave to spy work, you were reminded why you left in the first place. You longed to return to your gingers and feel their love.





	Home is Where the Heart is

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a couple weeks ago when I was in immense pain and posted it on Tumblr. It took me a while to decide to finally post this here and put it on my masterlist on Tumblr.  
> Parts of reader’s experiences and feelings are directly my own. If you relate to this story, I am sorry and hope you can get away soon. This is also unedited since I do not feel like going through those emotions voluntarily, so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes. 
> 
> Warnings: Abuse, verbal and emotional, with past physical mentioned. Mention of mother who has passed away

You sat there, tears streaming down your face, a his words thundered on. Your answers were met with words whose underlying meaning was that it wasn’t a good enough “excuse” and that you should be better by now. Why did he act like he didn’t understand when he had been through the same thing? When he finished you returned to your room to continue sobbing. Again, you questioned why you thought it was a good idea to come home.

You have been home for a year and a half now, first on medical leave from being crushed by a malfunctioning training droid and now as a spy since Resistance activity popped up halfway through your 3 month leave. When you said you were alright with going home for leave, you had forgotten why you left. After your mom died you had realized all the abuse your father put towards you and your family and couldn’t wait to get away, and the First Order appeared in your time of need. While your planet had no loyalty to any power in the galaxy, most prominent members supported the New Republic, but that held no interest for you. Then one day, walking around town after a particularly bad “conversation” with your dad, you spotted a flyer for the First Order and it caught your interest. When you got home you looked up the site listed on the flyer on your data pad and read everything on the site before applying to be a basic communications officer. In two months time you were on the Finalizer and had told your family you were becoming a journalist and using pen names and wouldn’t be able to contact or visit them indefinitely. And after 5 years you had forgotten all the bad things your dad had done, only remembering the fun times you had with him as a child. That is how you ended up back in the abusive atmosphere of your childhood home.

Leaving the Finalizer and all you had known for 5 years triggered your depression you had worked so hard to recover from after joining the FO, which had stuck around for years after your mom died. You also left behind the love of you life, General Armitage Hux, which didn’t help your depression. You talked with him as often as he could, either through chat or holo, but since he was a busy man you were lucky for a few hours a week. You had immediately messaged him when you were out with a childhood friend after being cleared to go out more by your doctor and they told you Resistance members often came to town recruiting and getting funding from wealthy supporters, and that many of your classmates from school were now members. The friend you were with despised the Resistance and preferred the First Order, but you still would never tell anybody where you really worked, they all thought you got in a speeder accident while covering a story. The next day Armitage asked if you would mind staying away for longer to get more intel on the Resistance, and because your dad hadn’t started his bullshit again you agreed to stay for 2 years. After your initial three months were completed, your dad began his abuse again. He knew your depression returned when you got injured and had to leave your job, but as soon as the doctors said you were healed from your injuries he expected you to be back to normal. You had told him you would be staying home for longer since the story you were working on was a dangerous one, and now there were death threats from the local gangs so your job told you to stay home until everything smoothed over, which could be years, although they said if it still was bad after 2 years they would reassign you to a different planet on the other side of the galaxy.

That lead you to where you were now, recovering from being yelled at for being sick and unable to go to the store for groceries. All you wanted was to curl up in Armitage’s giant bed with him and Millicent while he smoothed your hair as he read reports. Being stuck here limited your options to conversing with him, which couldn’t happen right now as he told you yesterday he wouldn’t be available for three days due to work. Then you had an idea, you had gotten a ship to help with spying, under the guise as a hobby to keep you occupied while away from work, so you would pack your bags and leave when your dad fell asleep. Since the Order had bought you the ship, it was able to know where the Finalizer was in case something happened and you needed to leave. It was only a few hours before your dad was asleep and you were on your way back to your real home, with a note left in the kitchen that you were called back to work along with the grocery list. Surprisingly, home was only a few jumps away and you were there within the hour. You sent out a transmission to identify yourself and was granted access, and after landing you did your fastest regulation walk to your quarters, which were also Armitage’s.

As soon as the doors closed you went to the bed and curled around a surprised Millie. Tears were falling down your face again, this time from relief and happiness. After a few minutes the door slid open and you heard the voice of the man you had been missing.

“Kitten, are you here? I was alerted somebody used the code to get in here and then that an undercover x-wing had arrived on the ship, so I cancelled my meetings and rushed here.”

You couldn’t find your voice to respond, but Mille let out happy murps in response and then the bed was dipping down with the weight of a second body which then curled around your form and kissing your neck.

“Oh my dear, why are you crying? Why are you back six months early? Is everything alright?”

You just shook your head no. He knew about your depression, but not about your dad because you knew he would pull you from the mission if he did.

“You can tell me when you’re ready. Do you want me to keep holding you?”

Nodding yes, he tightened his hold and returned to his kisses.

Then you were waking up, laying in the bed properly, under the covers, and with Armie next to you reading reports and smoothing your hair.

“How long was I asleep for, Tige?”

He smiled and looked at you, “About an hour, I moved you after about 15 minutes.”

Your voice was still small from how you were feeling earlier, “Oh, okay. I think I’m ready to answer your questions now.”

Armitage set down his data pad and turned his whole attention to you.

“The reason why I returned early is because of something I have never told you about, my dad. He is abusive. When we were younger he would spank us for trivial things like not wanting to take a shower, then that fell away as we got older and would end up saying something to somebody. Throughout our lives he has been verbally and emotionally abusive, especially after mom died. That is what drove me to the Order, when I found the flyer I was recovering from a really bad one. Being away for so long, I compartmentalized and only remembered the good, and he was fine until after I was cleared for all regular activities. Earlier I finally had enough of him and his ignorance of my depression, wanting only to be here, the way I woke up with you smoothing my hair while reading reports with Millie at my feet. Then I remembered my ship, so I packed my bags, waited for him to go to sleep, left a note saying work called me back, then flew home. I was crying when you came in because I was so relieved and happy to be home.”

“Oh, darling, I wish I knew before you left, I never would have let you go. My dad was abusive too. He killed my mom, beat me for being a bastard child, being weak, being a disappointment, whatever he felt like really, and his words were nothing better than his lashes. Once I was high enough within the Order, I had Phasma murder him without leaving a trace. I’m sure she would be willing to do so again if asked.” 

“I think I’m fine just never seeing him or stepping foot on that planet again.”

“I can make sure that happens. And don’t you dare think you are going back on duty anytime soon. I want you to take all the time you need to fully recover without the stress of work. Of course if you get bored, I guess I can let you deal with the unimportant reports I have to go over.”

“Thank you Armie. I appreciate it. All I want to do is wrap my brain in a giant bandage and sleep until it is healed. And lay here with you and Millie.”

“I can’t help with the bandage thing, but you can sleep here with Millie for as long as you want, and I’ll be here as often as possible. Any office work will now be quarters work. I love you kitten.”

He kissed your forehead and you smiled, moving to kiss his lips, “I love you, too.”

You fell back to sleep curled against him, happy to finally be back home in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr, awkward-radar-tech!  
> Thank you for reading! Feel free to comment or message me on Tumblr, I like to know what people think of my fics!


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